Henry David Kashouty Judge (ret.)

After my first meeting with Avatar Meher Baba at the Delmonico Hotel in New York City in 1956, I continued to write to Baba. I deeply felt the need to express my love to the One who for me transformed "God the word" into Beloved God, the Divine Reality in everyone and everything. Each time I wrote to Baba I struggled to find words that could express the love and conviction I felt for the miracle of Baba's existence. How could I find the words to praise the One whose life embodied the absolute truth: that all were destined for the Supreme Goal; that Baba's sublime presence and Reality was for everyone to experience through their own struggle to try to put him before self every moment.

Of course my words to Baba were not adequate, but the sincerity and conviction I experienced needed to be expressed to him as best I could.

Beginning in 1956, with Baba's permission, Kecha and I began to have meetings at our home every Monday night [in Hampton, Virginia] similar to the meetings in New York City. In a letter to Baba, conveying my feelings of inadequacy in conducting these meetings, I used the expression "the blind leading the blind." Baba's response was that "when the Avatar is behind you there is no question of the blind leading the blind; and your love, faith and highly developed sense of feeling and understanding of the Avatar of the Age is praiseworthy."

After reading Baba's statement directing those whose special circumstances required specific instructions from Baba, to request them, I did so. Baba's response through Mani was, "If it is possible for you to come next year to India, you should definitely do so. During that month with Baba, he will give you the specific instructions that you mention." In a subsequent letter, Baba stated, "Baba is very pleased with you and your dear wife and says there are no small instructions for you both except to love him more and more with all your heart. This is much more than any instructions he wishes to give you. Baba knows you and your dear wife and sends you both his very dear and endearing love."

Meher Baba became the substance and direction of life for Kecha and me. There was no thought or occurrence for which he was not the total answer. The very difficult work for us was to give up self for Baba. What keeps us struggling to this day, trying our best to surrender our will to Baba's will, was and is our great good fortune, in knowing beyond question, we have no choice. Meher Baba is the sublime destiny that excludes no one.

It is with this background that we came in the presence, again, of Meher Baba, God in human form, at his Center in the West in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, in 1958.